you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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