My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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