all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
