This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
