It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
