I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
