just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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