So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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