he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
