apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
