Are we in a gay sports bar?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
