Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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