Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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