there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
