He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
