She is in my trunk
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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