how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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