idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
