Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
