Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(702): View more from Nevada

We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Yes and so do I

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(504): View more from Louisiana

insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

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(410): View more from Maryland

my shit smells like andre

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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(516): View more from New York

He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.

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(631): View more from New York

these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.

(631): View more from New York

i got hit in the ear.

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(406): View more from Montana

Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.

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