I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
