Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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