Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
