census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize