This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
