mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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