Rock
Scissors
Fuck
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
