Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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