As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
