why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
