omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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