we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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