She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
