I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
