I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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