i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
