So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize