yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have post one night stand depression
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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