Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Buhtt sex?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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