I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
