Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
