Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
