Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I look better un-naked...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
