i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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