They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
