SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
