So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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