I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my phone needs a breathalizer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
