SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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