Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
