at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
