I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
