I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
