I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
