I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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