we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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