He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
