Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

  (650): View more from California

  I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

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  (650): There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide. (650): I tried to assassinate the ginger baby http://tfl.nu/c72u
  Replies (28) Good night (1998) Bad night (1024)
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  (310): View more from California

  The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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  (310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp
  Replies (3) Good night (2496) Bad night (715)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking

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  (301): I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking http://tfl.nu/pou2
  Replies (4) Good night (3936) Bad night (917)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

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  (765): Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband? http://tfl.nu/o4li
  Replies (178) Good night (1913) Bad night (14809)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...

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  (507): She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart... http://tfl.nu/kgd9
  Replies (42) Good night (1113) Bad night (12476)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

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  (201): the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/8wsa
  Replies (24) Good night (1540) Bad night (4463)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

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  (336): Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car. http://tfl.nu/8ezv
  Replies (11) Good night (2014) Bad night (1030)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.

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  (720): yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer. http://tfl.nu/fsjr
  Replies (4) Good night (2914) Bad night (751)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.

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  (303): i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned. http://tfl.nu/e449
  Replies (6) Good night (2581) Bad night (827)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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  (786): If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok http://tfl.nu/pfjn
  Replies (4) Good night (852) Bad night (2237)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.

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  (520): Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell. http://tfl.nu/vby3
  Replies (5) Good night (461) Bad night (675)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

  (512): View more from Texas

  It was just one of those nights, man.

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  (512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (711)
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  (619): View more from California

  He had a step stool to get in to his bed!

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  (619): He had a step stool to get in to his bed! http://tfl.nu/4n7f
  Replies (4) Good night (371) Bad night (665)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia

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  (615): I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia http://tfl.nu/u6m4
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (554)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen

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  (306): well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen http://tfl.nu/nqpt
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (496)

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