No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops