Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

tell him to stop quoting family guy

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(412): omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say (1-412): tell him to stop quoting family guy http://tfl.nu/1hbe

Replies (18) Good night (1555) Bad night (672)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

he should get drunk with us

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(610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt

Replies (20) Good night (5274) Bad night (643)
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(541): View more from Oregon

its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.

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(541): its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again. http://tfl.nu/0bz7

Replies (10) Good night (4429) Bad night (1131)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.

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(703): I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/3gnr

Replies (70) Good night (1207) Bad night (6678)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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(787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo

Replies (17) Good night (1305) Bad night (7182)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card

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(304): Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card http://tfl.nu/10du

Replies (15) Good night (4230) Bad night (829)
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(330): View more from Ohio

now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.

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(330): now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before. http://tfl.nu/kk2m

Replies (14) Good night (2599) Bad night (1109)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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(573): Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award. http://tfl.nu/wv69

Replies (5) Good night (2530) Bad night (635)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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(905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57

Replies (2) Good night (2213) Bad night (525)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?

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(651): Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/kwwo

Replies (5) Good night (1491) Bad night (593)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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(204): when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this? (1-204): ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best http://tfl.nu/o3b5

Replies (7) Good night (2285) Bad night (598)
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(631): View more from New York

She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat

(1-631): View more from New York

I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness

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(631): She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat (1-631): I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness http://tfl.nu/blnl

Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (521)
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(+27): View more from South Africa

I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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(+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs

Replies (13) Good night (505) Bad night (949)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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(808): I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough? http://tfl.nu/nifs

Replies (21) Good night (1399) Bad night (810)
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(801): View more from Utah

You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.

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(801): You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good. http://tfl.nu/w4bo

Replies (4) Good night (1604) Bad night (397)

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