Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My first STD was from a foam party

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  (202): My first STD was from a foam party http://tfl.nu/z9i4
  Replies (10) Good night (650) Bad night (1317)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"

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  (716): The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!" http://tfl.nu/wz9q
  Replies (14) Good night (2222) Bad night (706)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"

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  (210): I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV" http://tfl.nu/w3he
  Replies (37) Good night (5389) Bad night (780)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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  (404): alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/ialt
  Replies (43) Good night (589) Bad night (4728)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts

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  (484): I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts http://tfl.nu/21q5
  Replies (6) Good night (4208) Bad night (977)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.

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  (205): I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/44vh
  Replies (14) Good night (4599) Bad night (1444)
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  (247): View more from

  Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.

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  (247): Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me. http://tfl.nu/wk5w
  Replies (11) Good night (952) Bad night (4332)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4224) Bad night (1382)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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  (434): i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level http://tfl.nu/1fd3
  Replies (11) Good night (2944) Bad night (1610)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening

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  (630): he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening http://tfl.nu/ov5q
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (1006)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?

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  (303): Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself? http://tfl.nu/1puu
  Replies (6) Good night (1596) Bad night (461)
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  (897): View more from

  i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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  (897): i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight. http://tfl.nu/elh4
  Replies (8) Good night (759) Bad night (349)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.

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  (519): You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew. http://tfl.nu/ni79
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (267)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus

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  (412): Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus http://tfl.nu/j3t9
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (225)
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  (921): View more from

  Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.

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  (921): Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/0gfl
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (179)

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